3 Personal Reflections from Vacation (Part 2 of 3)

The abundance of joy that comes from parenting, marriage and leading your family well.
 
This is also something I tend to take for granted.  Sometimes Kelly and I take a weekend away without the boys, but this was a week way from the boys.  Although our marriage and our family are not perfect, they are joy giving fountains.  It was tough to be away that long, yet good.  I remember the day when I was really hesitant about kids and even figured that I probably wouldn’t get married until late in my life.  Well, that all changed in a hurry.  In my life, as in yours, there are times when God’s timing is completely different than ours.  I met Kelly when I wasn’t even looking.  Kelly became pregnant with Eli before we were even planning on starting a family.  Yet both came into my life at the exactly right time.  

Simply stated, Kelly makes me a better person.  Do we have arguments?  YES.  Am I selfish and rarely admit I am wrong?  YES.  Do I learn from her? YES, but don’t tell her.  She is amazing at making our house a home.  Keeps it clean, well decorated and has more motivation to do this than anyone I have ever met.  She is my example of being a hard working, innovative and ethical worker.  She challenges me to be a better parent; it is hard to keep up with her ability parent.  Those boys love her.  

Speaking of the boys, Eli and Owen are, as I stated, joy giving fountains.  If you are having a bad day, talk to one of them.  Eli will hug you, Owen will punch you – either way you will feel loved.  I think some people who say they do not want children are selfish or using it as an excuse for something– just as I thought in my early 20’s. Yes, there are times when being a parent is tough and patience can be thin, but nothing changes your life until you have a child.  You just don’t understand what parents feel until you are one.  You may get a slivering glimpse of it if you have a relationship in your life like a parent to a child.  Kids bring joy; help you to be a better human being and give you better perspective.  Nothing beats pelting your children with NERF guns, our random dance parties, listening to them tell stories about their day, laughing with them and crying with them.  NOTHING


My challenge to myself and others:
1 Rethink how I am shaping my children.  Be more specific in my conversations with them.  What moments am I letting pass by as just another “little” moment instead of a worthy conversation.  How am I uniquely catering one on one interaction to the individual character of each of my children? 
2 Laugh more with your children, wrestle more with your children, play dollhouse more with your children, whack the crap out of them with a NERF weapons, etc.
3 Pray for them more specifically, Pray with them more specifically and teach them to pray for others specifically. 


I THINK THAT THE MORE I AM PROACTIVE IN LEADING MY FAMILY WELL, THE SMALLER THE CHANCE THAT FAMILY HARDSHIPS OR CRISIS WILL SHIPWRECK MY FAMILY.  YES, THIS IS MY RESPONSIBILTY – SO I BEST BE CONSISTENTLY IMPROVING.
This is my responsibility

3 Personal Reflections from Vacation ( Part 1 of 3 )

The art of raising my children not to be American while raising them to be American

This is apparently something I have not mastered yet.  The boys love fighting over who gets the turtle that glows at bed time or whining about not being able to go to McDonald's every night for dinner as much as they have a heart for sharing.  While vacation on the cruise ship I was able to play witness to grown children (adults) whine like children who did not get their way because the ship had engine problems and could not make it to its original destination.  Despite the trip to a different island and a decent refund /person, all you could hear for the rest of the trip were temper tantrums, feet stomping and foul mouthed attitudes towards the crew of the ship.  Demands for full refunds were flying left and right at the same time we were passing by Haiti.  I mean; HELLO?  You have been born into one of the richest countries with freedoms and possessions few are blessed with. You are wining and dining on a traveling city and when you paid for it clicked "agree" on the fine print that the destination can change for any reason.


When we returned home we put forth more initiative in talking with the boys about appreciation for what they have.  Not that we didn't do this before, but a refreshed effort has kicked in gear here.  What led me to admit we have not mastered this yet is some of the boy’s responses.  Although they are two of the sweetest boys I know who truly love others, it is difficult for a 4 and a 6 year old to have, for example, a full appreciation for the devastation in Haiti or what it would like to not have any toys and live in a one room hut.


My challenge to myself and others:
1 Keep the conversation going.  Talk about this stuff at the dinner table, before bed as you pray with them or with teachable moments throughout the day.  Get them serving with you at local charities, shelters or at church.



2 As any parent knows, our children mimic us.  This includes our attitude and reactions.  This also includes the people we allow in their life.  A smart parent gets rid of the whiners, complainers and piss poor attitudes that surround their children.  Reflect on your relationships and how they may influence your children.  Get rid of them and be the example of gratitude.


3 This may sound extreme, but eliminate everything from their room and make them sleep on a mat on the floor without a blanket.  This will work trust me!  Okay, maybe a little extreme - so maybe just get better at not spoiling your children.  As hard as it is to not want to give your children everything they need and sometimes want, they really can get by on much less.  For example, Kel and I are big proponents of only a few gifts at Christmas and one small item for their birthday. 


The last thing you want is your child at the age of 40 laying into some guy from Africa working 365 days straight on a ship away from his family living in a village without a decent well for clean water all because the "more than generous" refund that they received didn't compare to the heartache of having to go to Nassau instead of Jamaica.  Could you imagine the disappointment?



HEY AMERICANS: STOP ACTING LIKE AMERICANS AND START ACTING LIKE AMERICANS!

A Week Away

We are just about a week away now from the celebration of the birth of Christ. As you probably know, December 25th is more of the commemoration date than the actual date of Christ's' birth. There are varying and debatable historic dates ranging from 5 B.C., 4 B.C. and even 1 A.D.

Matter of fact, the birth of Jesus might not have even happened in December at all! Oh my!! What would "Christmas" be without snow. Is it even possible? Santa can't ride around in the spring or summer time. He will be too hot and needs the snow....or wait; isn't that when the bunny comes around with a basket?

Taken from Wikipedia ~ "Although a Christian holiday, Christmas is widely celebrated by many non-Christians, and some of its popular celebratory customs have pre-Christian or secular themes and origins. Popular modern customs of the holiday include gift-giving, music, an exchange of greeting cards, church celebrations, a special meal, and the display of various decorations; including Christmas trees, lights, and garlands, mistletoe, nativity scenes, and holly. In addition, Father Christmas (known as Santa Claus in some areas, including North America, Australia and Ireland) is a popular mythological figure in many countries, associated with the bringing of gifts for children."

So let's remember that it doesn't take the date of December 25th, snow, a man with a "belly like a bowl full of jelly", reindeer, dinner with family or a gift from a loved one to make our Christmas complete. It just takes a lot of time focusing and meditating on the Birth of our Savior and that it happened; God incarnate. Born into the crap and rotten stench of a stable to save us all.

From Luke 2

⁴So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, ⁷and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

⁸And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. ¹¹Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ^a]">[a] the Lord. ¹²This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

¹³Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
¹⁴"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

¹⁵When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

¹⁶So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. ¹⁷When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, ¹⁸and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. ¹⁹But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Passion In All Things Ministry

pas•sion: noun
a: ardent affection : love b: a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept c: sexual desire d: an object of desire or deep interest

Like most people working or volunteering in ministry, with tight budgets come expanded roles. Throughout our days and tasks, Director of Operations often translates to spill cleaner, Director of Communications sometimes translates to receptionist, Children's Pastor often translates to babysitter, Trustee often translates to usher, and Senior Pastor sometimes translates to the dude BBQing at the church picnic.
Reflect for a moment about your specific job responsibilities and the teams you lead.
What areas are you passionate about? What areas are bundled into your package of responsibilities that are easy for you to neglect?

The areas we are passionate about take little effort on our part. After all, our passions connected to our relationship with Christ are what brought us to ministry in the first place. So, I would rather help you pinpoint the duties you neglect because of your natural passion in other areas.

When you are not passionate about something:
• People see it. You are always being watched because most volunteers want to emulate what you do and how you act. When you aren’t passionate about something, people can tell.
• Your volunteers and ministry leaders will feed off of you. For example: If you want all of your teams to be welcoming, but you are not passionate about your usher team, that usher team will be your least welcoming team.
• It becomes your crippled leg. For example: I oversee retail operations at Grace. This includes our cafe, bookstore and rentals. I love the cafe. I come more from that background than the bookstore background. I apply a lot of time, but little energy towards the cafe and love watching it grow. The results have been huge. At the same time, despite feeling and knowing the strong sense of purpose the bookstore brings to the church and wanting it to succeed, I end up applying little time, and a lot of energy towards the bookstore. Let's just say, the results have not been staggering.

When you are passionate about something, you don't need to post reminders in your blackberry or have a bunch of sticky notes on the edges of your monitor screen. You can put more of that effort toward what you are not passionate about.


Some initiatives to help you do this:
• Remind yourself that people are watching you. Sell new initiatives and ministry goals well to your teams. Force yourself to get as excited as you would when you interact with a passion driving team.
• When you can, place ministry leaders around you that live and breathe the passions you don't. If chosen correctly, this person will be knocking down your door with ideas and their example allowing you to feed off of their passion.
• Remind yourself daily and weekly to evaluate the areas you lack passion for. Remember that these areas don't come naturally to you. They are not your comfort zone. You put them off for a reason.


WARNING: Be careful. Initiative and effort toward areas you lack passion for can sometimes lead to a new found passion. That can happen when you pour a little bit of YOU into something.

Ode to Kelly

Ode to Kelly....
Never had the chance to say this last week. To make a long story short....most of you know that we decided to move on a moment's notice (in order to get a preferred tenant) and rent our house early before our new house was ready for us. Well, this simply caused us to pack, patch walls, paint, clean, organize, etc in a week and a half while also working. We could not have done this without the help of many of you who helped us (ps - might need help in December) and we are grateful for all who helped.
But I need to thank the one who deserves most of the praise. My amazing and beautiful wife Kelly. She did most of what needed to be done. She is SUPERHUMAN, I can't even explain it as well as she deserves. The endurance, strength and work ethic I see in her matches very few. I am completely blessed. The day following the night we decided to move, I came home from work and all of the beds were dismantled and headboards, etc down in the living room. Pictures were off the walls and holes were being patched. Boxes were already mounting.

Moving a whole house and prepping it for tenants does not normally happen in 11 days. It does when Kelly is your wife. She runs an amazing home.
I.love.her.