7.07.2008

I love doing life with her.

Happy Anniversary Kelly!!! 6 years and loving it.


I found this list on line. The top 7 qualities for a wife to find in a husband. Yet another good reminder for me. How about you, which one could you focus more on? I have inserted my thoughts in Orange. Kelly, I love you dearly and I thank God for you everyday.


7) Handy - Guys, are you handy - what is handy? Handy is when you take action to solve a problem, handy is when you change a light bulb without complaint, handy is when you take out the garbage (your idea, not hers). Wives like for their husbands to be handy - it's not hard, be part of the solution - not the problem. As most of you know, I am not that handy. But this is a different handy. It is easy to put something off until your wife reminds you. I know I have noticed something that has needed done and put off doing it until kelly asked me. I need to be more like her here. She ALWAYS does things around the house without me needing to ask.
6) Provision Oriented - Please don't get excited - this isn't about the husband making all the money. Its an attitude to help your wife fill in gaps. She can't do everything - so help her! Is she busy with the kids - give up 10 minutes of the ballgame and clean dishes, fold laundry, or whatever. You don't even need to be all that big of a help - you just need to show you're trying. Since my job change, I have had more time around the house. The effort I have put forth on #6 has reaped rewards. I know I can increase continued effort here.
5) Humility - Nobody likes an arrogant man - there's no place for it in marriage. Show humility - when you're wrong - admit it and do so with humility. She'll probably be shocked and her reaction might be unpredictable - but inside she'll glow with admiration. This is a tough one for me and probably is for most men. I try to get my last word in all the time.
4) Adaptability - Guys, marriage is an ever changing world and you've got to adapt favorably to those changes or you'll find yourself wondering what you're doing and how you got there. If you look closely at your wife - filtering out years of environmentally induced behavioral changes - you'll see that glowing woman you fell in love with years ago. Let me explain further - my love and feelings toward my wife have not changed since the day we married. However, our relationship has changed as a necessity to those changes around us. Time constraints, needs of children, financial obligations, etc. each require a level of effort that takes time away from our relationship. No longer do we have the luxury of hours to spend alone together. You're success as a husband will largely be dependent on your attitude toward the adaptations required by life. Lastly, don't let the tail wag the dog - don't let your feelings toward life's changes affect feelings toward your wife - leave this to your heart. We notice this one, especially with kids. We do not have endless hours together without interruption like we used to. Not a bad thing, but I need to take the lead on making the small amounts of time alone together count. (On a side note, this year was probably one of my favorite anniversary dinners with my wife. We put together a new grill and had hotdogs, celery sticks, and asparagus on the deck by candlelight with the boys; while they ran around with nets and caught lightning bugs. No expensive trip or dinner this year, just us.....and it was great.
3) Sensitivity - You can forget what you learned in high school - most women aren't looking for a husband who never cries. A sensitive husband perceives the needs of his wife and looks to meet them. Sensitivity toward your wife will open doors of communication and intimacy you never thought possible. Try it, get that chip off your shoulder and show her some sensitivity. She has seen me ball my eyes out. I am good to go on this one.......
2) Faithfulness / Loyalty - Show her you're in it for the long haul (notice I said show her). How can you show someone you're faithful and loyal? Do you follow through with your commitments - however small they might be? Are you honest with your wife? Do you keep her up to date on your activities? Do you include her in your world? She's interested - show her it's not just about you - its about her as well and you'll reap the benefits of her security. I know it is tough after a day at work, etc to come home and take the time to answer questions. I struggle with this, but I need to remind myself that Kel is only asking because she cares and wants to know....especially when there is something clearly on my mind.
1) Good Listener - This might be the biggest challenge for husbands. You see, by nature, men are usually productive oriented and women are usually more relational. Men often make the mistake of trying to solve their wife's "problems". She doesn't want you to solve anything - she wants you to listen (really listen) and show her that you truly are interested in what she says. She wants you to feel what she feels and live what she lives. When you learn to truly listen to your wife and keep your mouth shut - your marriage will blossom. UhOhhhh, I know the minute Kelly sees, "solving their wife's problems", she will think of me. As someone in the management field for so long, I immediately and all the time go into:
"How can I fix this?"
"How can I help her to not feel this way?"
"How can I get her to understand why this is not a problem?"
etc
Can I shut my mouth? I don't know, but I am really going to give it a shot. Because I love her and my wife has truly become my best friend. I love doing life with her.


Any thoughts on your spouse?

1 comment:

puremotif said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YOU GUYS!!!

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